oday’s theme was “relapse!” (imagine a glittery song-and-dance number) with special guests Seal Cough, Bleary Confusion, and starring Blissful Unconsciousness.

I didn’t travel this year, so my tragic demise will only be witnessed by the Cats (who couldn’t care less and will cheerfully sleep on my head, living or not). I’m done for. Save yourselves.

My favorite gift was an Audubon bat house, courtesy of my parents. They know me well.

Happy holidays everyone, and get your flu shots.

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