I work in the video game industry, so I tend to think of life in these terms. For example, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I realized that pregnancy is essentially a really immersive resource-conservation RPG. I was always asking myself questions like: “Do I pick up this stuff on the floor, or do I save my Bending Over points for later?”
Recently several of my coworkers became parents, so in celebration of my fecund and nerdy cohort, here’s a description of my last week written entirely in video game terms:
- Warrior (Battle baroque parental leave laws)
- Wizard (Create nutritious meals for baby using own body)
- Rogue (Sneak around to accomplish things while the baby sleeps)
- Paladin (The power of the Coffee God will protect your party)
New player tutorial
Find outfits for upcoming family photo. Avoid decade-indicating fashion or hairstyles.
Parental achievement unlocked!
Raffi song stuck in head for more than four days.
How long can you deflect drool from your work clothes? GO!
Child can now turn pages of a book. Good work!
Improve your long-term memory by adding minutes of sleep during train commute
Enter “Up up down down left right start” in the deductions section of your tax form