Librarian Halloween Beatdown

Last year I pointed out that my local Target was selling a semi-skanky (and of course, Highly Accurate) “Librarian” Halloween costume.

This became a popular post, and I inadvertently helped sell dozens more of the silly things.

To counteract this, and help bring the universe a bit more into alignment, here’s a charmingly
inflammatory comment on Yahoo! Answers in response to a woman looking for tips on building a librarian Halloween costume:

Yes, ladies (and believe me, in the eyes of the world you are ALL ladies, even the dudes) why desexualize yourself by dressing like a hideous old librarian for Halloween, when you can just step on down to Girls’s Costume Warehouse?

This year I’m going as Frog.

New Librarian Gifts! Happy Festivus!

librariansxxx.pngYeah. I couldn’t resist. You know how we’ve had all of this discussion lately about, er… attractive librarians and the Halloween costumes that celebrate them? So I was thinking, what would REALLY bring those reluctant readers in to the library?

Imagine a neon sign buzzing, zapping and blinking: “Librarians! Librarians! Librarians!” The library lights up outside with lurid pinks and greens. Imagine the untapped audiences of potential patrons! Imagine the circulation statistics! Imagine the improved wages once people start tipping.

Of course, a sign like this might keep away the homeschoolers, but you can’t make everyone happy, right?

Right. Hope you enjoy these ever-so-tasteful librarian t-shirts, heat-printed on a black cotton shirt.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! If you’re in town, stop by for spanokopeta and yamfries!

Site down for a bit tonight…

Hi everyone – Happy Halloween! I bought myself new web hosting today, so the site might be funky for a bit whilst I drag everything over. Fear not, I’m not going anywhere.

I will be in Ann Arbor until Monday to ogle the Royal Shakespeare Company.

I got a flu shot this afternoon, and I now have the fake flu. I’m going home to pass out candy and upload files. I’ll update you live from beautiful and flat state of Michigan starting tomorrow morning.

Star Wars Dog Costumes

It’s Friday. Who needs serious content? Not I.

starwarsdogs.jpgAttention crazy dog people: If you must dress up your pet for Halloween, at least do it in style.

bigcat.jpgAttention crazy cat people: Think your cat is big? Invite him to view this gallery of top 15 amazingly fat cats. All of your cat’s body issues should clear up immediately.

Have a grand weekend! Don’t forget to put up the storm windows.

Virgin/Whore = Librarian/Librarian

Ah the joy of working in a traditionally female profession around Halloween!

Take your pick, ladies and gentlemen, do you prefer your objectification in the form of Sexy Librarian, or Old Lady Librarian?

Here are the search results from yet another hunt for Librarian costumes. The first two you may familiar with, the last provides a charming alternative.

It has been pointed out in some circles (hi coworkers!) that I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to the care and feeding of library professionals. Please allow the above image, as well as the profession’s appalling wages speak on my behalf.


Another Extremely Accurate Librarian Costume.

This is the second sexy librarian costume I’ve found. One more and it’s officially a trend.

This one is especially flattering. They call it a “Sexy Secretary” SLASH “Sexy Librarian” costume. Because as you know, the two jobs are interchangeable. Or at least the outfits seem to be.

I love love LOVE that librarians are the subjects of our very own fetish. My mom would be so proud. We should form a labor union, all us sexy librarians, nurses, secretaries, and flight attendants, and charge a licensing fee every time someone wants to objectify us. Like the MPAA for disenfranchised traditionally-female professions. Quick, somebody call Dan Savage!

We do look all like this though. Seriously. Even the dudes.

Hey Kids! Be a Librarian for Halloween

Target sells these INCREDIBLY accurate Librarian Halloween costumes in its online store.

Still, why spend $59.99 on a costume when we librarians can just open our closets and wear one of our many ALA-mandated cape/miniskirt combos?

Not to nitpick, but my book-skirt is a bit longer.

Update: Holy cow. Here’s another one.


laiapumpkin.jpgWe had a great Halloween – I put a bunch of candles out in the yard, and we got bombarded with neighbor kids until we ran out of candy. Then Chris dug up the confetti eggs from Easter and we started giving those out. They got a great reception, especially from the middle-school boy contingent. I think we’re going to get more and just give out cascarones next year. 

If you’ve ever been around us, you know our fondness for confetti eggs.  Chris’ family mails them up from Texas, and we usually have a carton or two kicking around the house JUST IN CASE. When our friends Kim and Brian had their daughter Anika last Easter, we brought confetti eggs to the hospital and cracked them all over the room, to the horror of the nurses. Kim swore we almost got her bounced from the maternity ward.

So for Halloween, Chris was Number Six and I was the new Number Two. We finally finished watching all the episodes of 60’s tv show The Prisoner, and wanted to pay costume tribute. Clay and Mike helped us carve scary pumpkins. Owl the cat obliged everyone by hopping around with his back fur up and looking extra halloweeny. I carried him to the door and offered to put him in the kid’s bags a few times. And at ten o’clock the ceremonial Four Teenagers Without Costumes showed up to finish the day.