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Speaking of sloth…

Sloth woodcut

Here’s some baby sloths. (thanks Kafkaesque)

These sloths remind me of the time I went to a residence hall library program with my friend Ryan “Galaxor Nebulon” Hughes. (Hi Ryan! Where the hell are ya?)

They had brought in a bunch of rainforest animals to the residence hall to, I dunno, promote reading or something. There were a bunch of snakes and fuzzy things, a scorpion, and a two-toed sloth. At the end of the program, the audience was invited to come up and pet the animals. Ryan decided that he should pet the sloth. Ryan HAD to pet the sloth.

I kind of lost track of Ryan after he went up to the sloth, and when I found him again he was bleeding. Ryan had been bitten by the sloth.

As you know, the sloth is the Slowest Mammal in the World. It is known for moving only 5 or 6 feet a minute. Yet here was Ryan, bleeding. “It looked so cute”, Ryan said. “When I saw it open it’s mouth, I thought, oh! it’s going to do something even cuter! I didn’t know it was going to BITE me!”

I believe to this day Ryan has a scar. From sloth.

Let this be a lesson to you.

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Puppies and kitties are the antidote for midday sloth

Puppies and kitties rescued from New Orleans will make your day. I went to the humane society today on my lunch break to pet the cats because of these photos. Now I’m scraping cathair off of my sweater with scotch tape.

In other news, Chris and I will be gracing Ann Arbor with our presence next Thursday through Sunday for the annual School of Information CIC Thingamajig. We’re driving straight to Earthen Jar and are not coming out until they run out of that lovely cauliflower-and-curry thing. If you are in Ann Arbor, I want to see you. That means you Alexandra. And you Mihir. And you, whoever else is in town that I don’t know about.

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Rescue Helicopters grounded for Bush Photo-op

Bush Turkey.jpg Bob Byler’s brother was flying a rescue helicopter in New Orleans last week. He tells stories of tearing the roofs off of houses, and airlifting people out of their submerged houses. However, for several hours he and his fellow emergency helicopter pilots were forced to stop their flights.

The President was in town. There is a well-established (and wise) security procedure that calls for a 50 mile no-fly zone around the President wherever he happens to be. However, during Friday’s presidential mission of mercy, this rule was responsible for the delay of life-saving rescue flights.

As the flood waters rose, flight crews were grounded so that Mr. Bush, showing his usual good judgment, could sympathize with the newly second-homeless Trent Lott, survey the damage, and pose for photos in front of hastily-assembled and later absent rescue equipment. I’m certain this was all a great comfort to the people drowning in their attics, waiting for rescue crews that never arrived.

Were their lives, too, a noble sacrifice for the causes of freedom and democracy, or has this administration endangered more Americans for the cause of the photo-op?

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Siiiick

worker antI’m home sick with some sort of sniffy sneezy cold thing. I tried going to work yesterday but my contant snorfing made me a bit self-conscious in my four-person office. I kept getting those "You’d best not be contagious" looks that one gets from coworkers in these situations. So I went home and slept for 16 hours.  Today I hauled myself downstairs to the computer and realized that my blog comment spam software has been running in super-zealous mode, so some of your comments might have gotten held up. My apologies. I’ve punished the software appropriately – it’s not allowed to access my Itunes network for the next week. Bad software.

Speaking of software, I’ve just become addicted to Pandora, the internet radio software that tailors its playlist based on the Music Genome Project. It’s in beta right now, so you can request a free account. One of the worst things about being sick is I’m too lazy to get up and change the cd, so this is great. I typed in White Stripes and got back Belle and Sebastion, And You will Know us by the Trail of Dead, and Nick Cave. Not bad. I’m also too lazy to stick this entry in the spellchecker, just so you know.

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Turtles and Tornadoes

What a strange day. I got to work, and the building was closed. No water, and thus, no air conditioning. The Big Software Launch was today, so we intrepid few stayed anyway, fighting the clock and 95 degree heat whilst the servers politely melted.

Then the tornadoes came. Or tornado warning, which is unusual enough around here. Power lines down, benches blown over, little whorls of  litter in the street.

And to top it off, I rescued three snapping turtles from the road. It’s egg-laying day in snapping-turtle-land, and several turtlemammas thought our dirt road looked like ye olde ancestral breeding ground.

Ever try to pick up a snapping turtle the size of a garbage can lid using only a cattail and your shoe? Ever pick up a CD-sized snapping turtle in the act of bravely stomping out in front of a BUS, only to have it kick you and pee on your foot? Ever pick up a mousepad-sized turtle from the edge of the road, and reveal five ghostly white ping-pong ball eggs in a hole beneath her? This was my day.

Also, the cow-orkers and I saw a spotted fawn and his mom hanging out in the parking lot. Nature preserve librarian, y’all. It gets no better. Except for the turtle pee, which stains.

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Escape from Flint

Last night I drove back to Ithaca from my hometown of Flint, MI. I had Great Expectations on tape, and Dickens’ verbosity helped get me through the nine-hour drive without plowing into someone out of sheer boredom. Flint was unexpectedly fun. I got to see my favorite old gang, and their cute new kids. Downtown’s been sexed up a bit, with some lighted arches and a cobblestone overhaul. The best thing downtown is Flint City T-Shirts, my friend Matt’s new shop. I got an “I heart MI” shirt, and Erin got one that says “Flint: Baddest town around since 1855.”

Things I missed while I was in Flint (Good)

  • Snoop Dogg asking Cornellians “Can U Control Yo Hoe?” (more on misogyny in hip hop)
  • Slope day snowfences
  • Cat barfing

Things I missed while I was in Flint (Bad)

  • Beezoo and Lexie delivering brownies at work
  • Tulips blooming in spite of the damn deer (curse you deer!)
  • International dance festival (opa!)

Things I did while in Flint

  • Ate assloads of coneys. Pretty much literally.
  • Went to Wal-mart twice with parents. Bought nothing. Washed off corporate slime afterward.
  • Gave driving tour of expensive public works projects that were going to “save Flint”
  • Tamale night at Erin’s grandma’s
  • Mourned the death of Angelo’s. The walls are bare. They have wheat toast. The waitress called my friend “sir.” It’s over.
  • Three-hour gossip session with everyone’s favorite Joel
  • Got asked out by skeevy Australian waiter while at Olive garden with mom.
  • Introduced parents to veggi burger. Ate chicken in exchange.

In other news, Wendy at Poundy describes the Seattle Public Library most aptly.
Store Wars should tip you over your monthly bandwidth quota nicely. Headphones required. Organic and work-safe.

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