Top Five Things I Have Learned About Babies

My daughter, Elizabeth West Firment, was born in early November. The last…ever since…has been a nonstop, nonsleep blur of boobs, love, fuss, and delirium. In the process, I have learned these five things:

  • Ceiling fans are TV for babies.
  • At week six, nursing goes from being a special woodchipper for your nipples to something fairly ok. Eventually, it will become rather pleasant, and you will be able to play World of Warcraft while feeding your child, like my friend Kelly’s wife does. I’m pretty sure she levels up faster by simultaneously breastfeeding and p0wning n00bz.
  • The sun did not shine, it was too wet to play, so we sat in the house all that cold cold wet day.
  • There is a 4am. It comes before 5am, which is that time  you read about once that precedes 6am. You do not have the right to a full night’s sleep. You have given that right to your baby, who may use it as she sees fit.
  • Your baby’s smile generates a burst of hormones that if necessary will enable you to lift a car or cut out your own spleen.

Photos are up on flickr. Thanks for all the casseroles!

Librarian Revolution

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Librarians see themselves as the guardians of the First Amendment… I wouldn’t mess with them. I really didn’t realize the librarians were, you know, such a dangerous group.

— Michael Moore, after outraged librarians saved his book

To celebrate our profession’s revolutionary approach toward freedom of expression,
I have created a new product line* at the Librarian Avengers store, featuring the Revolutionary Librarian. She’s a deadpan librarian, wielding the Flaming Stamp of justice. You can get her on a coffee cup, shirt, or on some glossy cards to send to your nettlesome patrons. Yes, those are knitting needles in her hair.

*As usual, all proceeds go toward the Erica family “mortgage and random charities” fund

Allergy alert stickers

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I have a life-threatening peanut allergy. My lungs fill up and my throat closes and WOW are nuts a bad thing. Which is why I want these vinyl “No Peanuts” stickers by Jeeto.

Chuck and I have been trying to translate the word “peanut” into 30 languages whenever we go to a restaurant. It would be nice to have a visual aid.

When I was a kid, nobody had heard of “allergies”, so I didn’t get a lot of cred when I pouted and refused to eat my snickerdoodle. My folks fought for me when they could, but there were plenty of incidents. There was the Evil Girl Scout Leader with the PBJ, the home economics class with the peanut brittle, my forgetful grandma and the cracker jacks.

Having it in writing might help a kid stick up for herself.

So, yay to Jeeto and a generation of militant parents! Yay for continued access to oxygen!

Read necklace, not ALA approved.

etsy.com is a site where arts n’ crafters sell their wares.

If you shop at etsy, chances are pretty high you you are supporting a stay-at-home-mom, a starving artist, or a woman who wouldn’t otherwise get compensation for her work.

With that said, brookadelphia on etsy offers some pretty cool read necklaces. Don’t tell the ALA.

I Brake for Library Sciences

It’s the Holiday Season, which means new stuff in the Librarian Avengers Store.
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I’m pimpin’ some new oval stickers this year. They look just like those European country abbreviation stickers that folks have on their Toyotas. Only these are cooler, because they signal that you are secretly a member of the United Nation of Librarianship!

Yep, there’s lots of new products, posters, shirts, and stuff sitting around the store, just waiting for you to order. So if you are a librarian, know a librarian, or love a librarian, consider giving them a thoughtful Librarian Avengers product this year. Or hell, just give them the money. They probably need it.

This thing cost five bucks and just saved my butt

I have an iPod shuffle that I use for running, trains, dull waits, and creep avoidance.

I misplaced the charger a few weeks ago and missed it terribly. The solution? This thing. It plugs into your shuffle on one end, and into a USB port on the other.

I like it better than the original charger because it takes up zero room and since it was $5, I don’t feel bad about just tossing it in my bag. It’s an older USB standard, so it’s slower, fyi. Still. Five bucks. Come on.