Research Obsession

CF Bulb
I haven’t mentioned this before, but I have a rather librarianish habit. I get on research kicks, usually to no end except my own edification.

For a month or so, I’ll just get on some topic and won’t let it go. I’ll read books on the topic, surf it when I’m supposed to be doing something else, and bore you with conversation about it.

In the past, I’ve become a mini-expert (knowing just enough to be dangerous) on the following:

  • The Northern Cities Vowel Shift
  • Beekeeping
  • The use of scientific imagery in cosmetics advertising
  • US Copyright law
  • Yiddish and Zionism in the 1940s
  • Japanese cooking

After watching An Inconvenient Truth, I’ve been in a state of semi-panic. I’ve researched hybrid cars, veggie cars, rentable solar panels, household wind energy, and biofuel. I’ve swapped out our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents, covered our windows with plastic, and turned down the thermostat. We bartered webwork with our friend Lexie, who does home efficiency evaluations (hire her!). But we still have a long way to go.

Point being, I thought I might start share some of the stuff I dig up. I’ll title the posts Research Obsession so you can skip ’em if you don’t care about the Poetry of William B. Yeats or whatever it is I’m currently nuts about.

New Rating System in effect

I went to see Children of Men today, which was fantastic, disturbing, hopeful, and cautionary. I cried a bit, but left not resenting the movie for making me sad.

Beforehand, we saw four trailers which ALL fell into the new Librarian Avengers Film Rating System. There was a Creepy Child Singing, Two Overly Patriotics, and a Jim
Carrey.

Beware.

Rated B for Bad: The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System

Update: There is an updated version of the Librarian Avengers Film Rating System!

Movie ratings suck. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me anything I need to know.
I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey.

I need a rating system that reflects the diversity of obstacles lurking in today’s cinema. Introducing…

The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System
a.png Rated A for Animal Gets Hurt
b.png Rated B for British Accent Faked by American
Rated C for Creepy Child Singing
d.png Rated D for Dialog Written by Committee
e.png Rated E for Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball
f1.png Rated F for Fun-filled Frolic for the Family
g.png Rated G for Grab-my-hand!
h1.png Rated H for Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out
i.png Rated I for Italian Stallion
j.png Rated J for Jim Carrey
Rated K for Keyboard hacks Pentagon in two clicks
l.png Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable
m.png Rated M for Motiveless Villain
n.png Rated N for Natives
o.png Rated O for Overly Patriotic
p.png Rated P for Pacino Yelling
r.png Rated R for Remake of a Better Film
s.png Rated S for Scientific Content ≠ Reality
t.png Rated T for T&A
u.png Rated U for Un-ironic 80’s Soundtrack
v.png Rated V for Vehicle
w.png Rated W for Woody Allen as Romantic Lead
x.png Rated X for Xenu-Sponsored Script
z.png Rated Z for Zombies

Decrypting the Cat

lace.jpg We had a breakthrough this week in human-cat relations. Plover, our newest cat, was adopted from the pound, and came with a bit of post-traumatic-stress disorder. He had a rough time in cat jail, and has been on edge for the last six months.

Then we got him a shoelace.

We tried everything to get him to play: catnip, stuffed mice, balls, rattling things. He would try, but he always remained a bit reserved. The shoelace changed everything. He instantly recognized it as a toy, and jumped on it with a joyous fury.

He is a changed cat. He carries the shoelace around the house, lays on it, chases it wherever we drag it (even to previously scary parts of the house), and has generally blossomed into a fun-loving, easy-going guy.

This kitty was a mystery, and all it took was a shoelace to decrypt his code and get him functioning. Kittyhack!!!

Toques for Texans

It snowed in Austin, Texas yesterday. Schools and universities were closed, giving everyone an unexpected day off.

red_hat.jpgLong lonesome roads became treacherously icy. Heartbreak hotels shut down. Cacti cooled. Longhorns lost heat. Scorpions shivered.

Corrupt Texas Governor Rick Perry wasted a bunch of money.

The governor used state funds to build an outdoor stage to host his two-million dollar inauguration ceremony. When it snowed, the ceremony was moved indoors, and the stage was torn down unused.

Today, Texas teachers return to their elementary school classes, many of which are held in trailers that supplement tiny school buildings.

I’ll say one thing for New York State, we may not have the biggest cows, or the biggest hats, but we’ve got the damned biggest snowplows you’ve ever seen.

Adios, y’all.