Fellow library workers, let me engage you in a thought experiment.
Say you are changing the oxygen sensor in your aged vehicle with your friend Brian, and it is getting dark and has started raining and in spite of your best efforts you can’t get the old part off. As a librarian would you know enough NOT to stand in the rain and scrape your knuckles trying to remove the heat shield from your exhaust manifold?
As research professionals, I’m sure you would quickly wash your hands, search the web, and discover that the auto parts store sells a tool clearly labeled “Oxygen Sensor Socket Wrench” which will remove the old part posthaste.
At least this is what you would do if you were not me.
This is how librarians talk when they think no one’s looking. The following excerpts are from actual email conversations:
Me: Good news! The ALA now has a Library Worker’s Day! ALA loves library assistants! What I like most about this day is how close the phrase ‘library worker’ is to ‘sex worker.’ “Hi, I’m Erica and I’m a library worker! I started out as a library dancer, but now I just do some phone reference and a few library tricks on the side.”
My Librarian Friend: Some day I will be Madam at a whole Library of Ill Repute. Really naughty boys will be sent to Technical Services!!!
Me: Good news! The ALA now has a Library Worker’s Day! ALA loves paraprofessionals!
My Other Librarian Friend: Show me the money.