I can’t sort out my head properly, so I’m sorting my books. Plover and I are drinking red wine and water, respectively, and pacing the apartment listening to motown.

I’m rearranging my books.

I’ve you’ve read Nick Hornsby’s book High Fidelity or seen the movie, you might remember Rob rearranging his record collection. Today is sort of that, but without the breakup.

When I have something big on my mind, usually related to self-definition, I become more interested in music and stories.

The music I listen to becomes Important. The books on my shelves become Me. I download. I read. I sort. I fuss and swap and graze over my books, looking for the right system.And through this, somehow, I describe myself to myself. Whatever is going on in my head benefits from the organization I’m doing with my hands.

I externalize this stuff because it’s easier than neurosurgery and cheaper than therapy.

Behold my books. They are arranged by priority, then color.

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I went to see Children of Men today, which was fantastic, disturbing, hopeful, and cautionary. I cried a bit, but left not resenting the movie for making me sad.

Beforehand, we saw four trailers which ALL fell into the new Librarian Avengers Film Rating System. There was a Creepy Child Singing, Two Overly Patriotics, and a Jim
Carrey.

Beware.

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Movie ratings suck. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me anything I need to know.
I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey.

I need a rating system that reflects the diversity of obstacles lurking in today’s cinema. Introducing…

	Rated A for Animal Gets Hurt
	Rated B for British Accent Faked by American
	Rated C for Creepy Child Singing
	Rated D for Dialog Written by Committee
	Rated E for Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball
	Rated F for Fun-filled Frolic for the Family
	Rated G for Grab-my-hand!
	Rated H for Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out
	Rated I for Italian Stallion
	Rated J for Jim Carrey
	Rated K for Keyboard hacks Pentagon in two clicks
	Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable
	Rated M for Motiveless Villain
	Rated N for Natives
	Rated O for Overly Patriotic
	Rated P for Pacino Yelling
	Rated R for Remake of a Better Film
	Rated S for Scientific Content ≠ Reality
	Rated T for T&A
	Rated U for Un-ironic 80′s Soundtrack
	Rated V for Vehicle
	Rated W for Woody Allen as Romantic Lead
	Rated X for Xenu-Sponsored Script
	Rated Z for Zombies

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