In my new role as a user experience goon at Second Life, I’m often called upon to participate in rap battles with other employees.
Because we’re all busy, rap battles tend to be text-only and asynchronous, conducted over IRC, twitter, or instant messenger.
Past themes have included: My prowess as a Developer, My (imaginary) Car, Linden Lab Office Culture, and Various Programming Languages.
Below are a few examples of my amazing rap power, mostly gleaned from IM logs. Enjoy responsibly, and please remember check yourself before you wreck yourself.
Killing jira issues like Rambo kills commies / Tasks and subtasks crying for their mommies /As&Os got me going mental / Yoz wants to rap but he’s too CONTINENTAL
Chillin wit’ Jonhenry / Talking ’bout JIRA / Drank me some coffee / Wish it was a beerah
open up email to try and cat-heard / 60 threads later / time is going backward / I just get in when wham! it’s lunch / wtf have I done besides data-crunch?
think you bad / ’cause you so much taller? / you may be blue / but I’m white collar / rollin’ in my office working on a search / you think you’re rapping but its SO MUCH WORSE
Kickin’ it smoove in my GTO / ops wants to have a meeting / but I’ve got ta go!
3 Replies to “Nerdcore Rap Battles in which I have participated…”
Only because i’m reading “check the technique” right now.
I’m the #1 Rit-Ro gangsta V.I.P. /
Rollin’ up on this bitch with my M.B.P. /
Sippin’ on organic fair trade coffee /
Scheming up web-two-dot-oh its what i got gee
Your Gojira issues don’t phase me /
But your ill fed rhymes craze me /
Like an outta sync ipod your xml is wack /
My beats sound like nmap on the attack
Maybe you should wish how it was before /
When you an your momma ran the 64 /
Times was when you thought you knew what i knew
ooh noes! / snap! / you’ve been killed by a grue
*MBP = macbook pro, a computer.
*Rit-To = Ritual Roasters, a coffee shop.
*64= commodore 64, a computer.
I think I’m in love with you.
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