In case anyone is interested in the relative effects of a New Baby, I ran a few numbers this morning.
| -65% | Cussing |
| -50% | Cups of Coffee Consumed |
| -98% | Cups of Coffee Consumed While Still Warm |
| -98% | Alcohol Consumed Before Childbirth |
| +98% | Alcohol Consumed After Childbirth |
| +50% | Loads of Laundry/Week |
| +100% | Loads of Laundry Involving Poo |
| +350% | Smiles from Strangers |
| +60% | Visitors |
| +300% | Visits to Library |
| +10% | Upper Body Strength (12 pound weight) |
| +75% | Breast Size |
| +30% | Body Size |
| -5% | Brain Size |
| -50% | Sleep |
| -100% | Uninterrupted Sleep |
| +200% | Jokes About Sleep |
| +200% | Jokes About Poo |
| +50% | Actual Poo |
| +10% | Unsolicited Advice |
| -10% | Need For Unsolicited Advice per Weekly Age of Infant |
| +3000% | Life/Injury Insurance |
| +25% | Ominous Feeling That Adulthood Has Arrived |
| +100% | Heart-stopping Baby Smiles |
Loved this post! so very true!
Charming post