True Living Room Confessions

There are mushrooms growing in the corner of my living room. I discovered them when I moved the wireless router upstairs and removed a tangle of cords. There they were. Three little mushrooms. Growing. In the carpet.

I live in one of those beige apartments where everything is new and clean and entirely characterless, so mushrooms in the carpet, even beige mushrooms, seem out of place. I will be moving in a few weeks, so we took this discovery in stride. I decided to leave them as conversation pieces. “Welcome to my home, have you met the mushrooms?”

On a cinematic note, the mushrooms bear an uncanny resemblance to the ear in the opening scene of Blue Velvet. Of course this has nothing to do with libraries, but if it makes you feel better I will call the reference desk and ask for a book on common living room fungi.