Category: Avenging

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Toques for Texans

It snowed in Austin, Texas yesterday. Schools and universities were closed, giving everyone an unexpected day off.

red_hat.jpgLong lonesome roads became treacherously icy. Heartbreak hotels shut down. Cacti cooled. Longhorns lost heat. Scorpions shivered.

Corrupt Texas Governor Rick Perry wasted a bunch of money.

The governor used state funds to build an outdoor stage to host his two-million dollar inauguration ceremony. When it snowed, the ceremony was moved indoors, and the stage was torn down unused.

Today, Texas teachers return to their elementary school classes, many of which are held in trailers that supplement tiny school buildings.

I’ll say one thing for New York State, we may not have the biggest cows, or the biggest hats, but we’ve got the damned biggest snowplows you’ve ever seen.

Adios, y’all.

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Librarian vs. influenza: day you have got to be kidding

You guys rule. Thanks for the comments and updates. I’m still sick. Here’s some replies to the kind souls who wrote yesterday…

Carisse: Hook ’em horns! From what I hear, the philosophy department had one heck of a softball team.

nycejo.jpg Catrina: I totally agree. I’ve beendrinking pints of DeTox and Breathe Easy, with a side of Echinacia and Chamomile mint. Stupid Ralph left for the day, but his friend Vertiginous Vinnie stopped by this morning. Which means I’m typing this with my eyes closed as the keyboard spins rather disturbingly otherwise.

Cute Overload is the best. I refreshmonkey their feed regularly. Bunnies cure all.

Steve: Thanks! This flu is like a writing exercise. My lit professors always said that constraints catalyze creativity. I’d like to add that vomit volumizes verbosity.

Has your son experienced a traumatic event? His DVD behavior sounds like a cry for help. But then, I’m a girl. It could just be a call for boxing gloves and a little brother.

Meg: Eggs? Org. Perhaps I should rethink my question.

Seriously though, the new kitty nurses. Like, he sucks on things. Schlurp schlurp schlurp. He’s a big snoring baby with hairballs. Schlurp.

Also, hooray to your librarian destiny! Mine got beat up by my better-pay-as-a-user-advocate destiny. But librarianship is an identity, it’s larger than a single profession.

Linda: I have no idea what movie this is. The only thing I really miss by not having cable is the movie previews. Sometimes I remember to check the apple site, but mostly I just rely on word of mouth and Salon.com. This was good? I should watch it? Better than Ang Lee’s finest? Will I require insulin? Will they even play it here in the cinematic desert of Ithaca, NY?

All: My friend Kara has put up some of our photos from NYC and Paris on flickr if you wish to travel vicariously.

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Air India

I won’t detail the series of bureaucratic ineptitudes that led to Chris missing his Air India flight, and the rest of us being transferred to a different airline without permission or warning that our flight would leave TWO HOURS early, but we did spend the flight singing the famous South Park song: “Blame Air India”.

Just to be clear: Do Not Fly Air India, no matter how cheap the tickets or how intriguing the meal selection. Avoid this carrier at all cost, unless you can somehow guarantee that you will be transferred to a different airline.

Paris is beautiful. I’ve been eating like a horse. But hopefully not eating actual horse.

Snails, however, are quite good.

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Gone Dancin’

Tonight’s post has been preempted by the Cornell Swing Club’s last dance of the semester. Erica will be attending and trying to improve her shoddy 8-count swingout. You will be returned to your regularly scheduled post in three hours. Thank you.

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New Librarian Gifts! Happy Festivus!

librariansxxx.pngYeah. I couldn’t resist. You know how we’ve had all of this discussion lately about, er… attractive librarians and the Halloween costumes that celebrate them? So I was thinking, what would REALLY bring those reluctant readers in to the library?

Imagine a neon sign buzzing, zapping and blinking: “Librarians! Librarians! Librarians!” The library lights up outside with lurid pinks and greens. Imagine the untapped audiences of potential patrons! Imagine the circulation statistics! Imagine the improved wages once people start tipping.

Of course, a sign like this might keep away the homeschoolers, but you can’t make everyone happy, right?

Right. Hope you enjoy these ever-so-tasteful librarian t-shirts, heat-printed on a black cotton shirt.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! If you’re in town, stop by for spanokopeta and yamfries!

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Vote early, vote often.

Today is U.S. election day. Today. Tuesday the 7th. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Today you need to find ten minutes before, after, or during work to drive/walk/bike/train/carpool/drunkenly stumble to your local firehouse/school/residence hall/public space and vote. It’s easy. Here are two things that often stop people from voting:

WHERE DO I VOTE?
Call your local Board of Elections to find out where you vote. They have lots of people waiting for your call today. They are happy to tell you. It’s what they do. All you need to know is your address and approximately how to spell your name. Their number is in the phonebook in the blue government section.

WHO AM I VOTING FOR?
If you want to find out what the ballot will look like before you get in the booth, you can check out your local Board of Elections website, or try the League of Women Voters website. Or you can stop by your local board of elections office. Or you can go to your polling place and ask to see a sample ballot, then go home and google everybody.

The keyword here is: research. Open a web browser and type in “yourcountyhere 2006 election”. See what you can find out about which judges are reputable, which sheriff candidate matches your interests, which drain commissioner has actually seen a drain.

You can do this. We’ll all be grateful if you do.

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List of Truths

  1. Patrick Stewart in The Tempest was the most amazing theatrical experience of my life.
  2. The frikkin’ ALA wrote me up in some magazine, causing my server to explode.
  3. Michigan is cold and the residents can’t drive.
  4. My laptop is running on reserve battery power…
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Want to volunteer at the library? Pass a drug test, sister.

Ah, Gainesville. Come for the Snowy Egrets, stay for the affronts to human dignity!

Bill Mahr at The Huffington Post wrote an excellent screed last week about Levy County Florida’s county-wide drug screening policy which has cut the library’s volunteer population by 3000%.

egretsmoking.pngMahr is slightly fuzzy on the details of our favorite profession, referring to librarians interchangeably as 1) Grandma 2) Aunt Iris 3) America’s shsssshing minority and 4) Volunteers.

Still, he has a point. Why torture volunteers? Should the County’s “risk-management Insurance company” really have the power to take down the library system? Is this an acceptable risk?

I wonder if anyone considered the cost/benefit of this decision. Essentially, the County Government (whom we know are always the embodiment of common sense and long-term planning) has reduced library services in exchange for relief from imaginary hordes of crank-shooting elderly volunteers.