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Rated B for Bad: The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System

Update: There is an updated version of the Librarian Avengers Film Rating System!

Movie ratings suck. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me anything I need to know.
I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey.

I need a rating system that reflects the diversity of obstacles lurking in today’s cinema. Introducing…

The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System
a.png Rated A for Animal Gets Hurt
b.png Rated B for British Accent Faked by American
Rated C for Creepy Child Singing
d.png Rated D for Dialog Written by Committee
e.png Rated E for Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball
f1.png Rated F for Fun-filled Frolic for the Family
g.png Rated G for Grab-my-hand!
h1.png Rated H for Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out
i.png Rated I for Italian Stallion
j.png Rated J for Jim Carrey
Rated K for Keyboard hacks Pentagon in two clicks
l.png Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable
m.png Rated M for Motiveless Villain
n.png Rated N for Natives
o.png Rated O for Overly Patriotic
p.png Rated P for Pacino Yelling
r.png Rated R for Remake of a Better Film
s.png Rated S for Scientific Content ≠ Reality
t.png Rated T for T&A
u.png Rated U for Un-ironic 80’s Soundtrack
v.png Rated V for Vehicle
w.png Rated W for Woody Allen as Romantic Lead
x.png Rated X for Xenu-Sponsored Script
z.png Rated Z for Zombies

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70’s Librarians Know How To Party

I grabbed this photo from my Information School’s 75th anniversary website. Which I designed. A long time ago. Before I discovered that flexible CSS-layouts make everyone’s lives better.

Anyway, I love these librarians. The photo was from the “campus life” section, and I’ve just got to say: If you are in this photo or know someone who is, please let me buy you a Schlitz. Because that’s what they’re drinking. I know this through the magic of Photoshop.

So is it just me or was library school more fun back then? My classmates drank, don’t get me wrong, but we did it in a more serious, social-reform sort of way. You know, Mojitos and Cosmopolitans. These guys look like they just grabbed a case of beer after Intro to Cataloging and went to town.

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