Update: There is an updated version of the Librarian Avengers Film Rating System!
Movie ratings suck. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me anything I need to know.
I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey.
I need a rating system that reflects the diversity of obstacles lurking in today’s cinema. Introducing…
|Rated A for Animal Gets Hurt
|Rated B for British Accent Faked by American
|Rated C for Creepy Child Singing
|Rated D for Dialog Written by Committee
|Rated E for Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball
|Rated F for Fun-filled Frolic for the Family
|Rated G for Grab-my-hand!
|Rated H for Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out
|Rated I for Italian Stallion
|Rated J for Jim Carrey
|Rated K for Keyboard hacks Pentagon in two clicks
|Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable
|Rated M for Motiveless Villain
|Rated N for Natives
|Rated O for Overly Patriotic
|Rated P for Pacino Yelling
|Rated R for Remake of a Better Film
|Rated S for Scientific Content â‰ Reality
|Rated T for T&A
|Rated U for Un-ironic 80’s Soundtrack
|Rated V for Vehicle
|Rated W for Woody Allen as Romantic Lead
|Rated X for Xenu-Sponsored Script
|Rated Z for Zombies