Update: There is an updated version of the Librarian Avengers Film Rating System!
Movie ratings suck. “Rated R” doesn’t tell me anything I need to know.
I need to know if a movie contains cannibalism, synthesizers, or Jim Carrey.
I need a rating system that reflects the diversity of obstacles lurking in today’s cinema. Introducing…
The Librarian Avengers Film Rating System
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Rated A for Animal Gets Hurt |
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Rated B for British Accent Faked by American |
| Rated C for Creepy Child Singing | |
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Rated D for Dialog Written by Committee |
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Rated E for Escape-in-front-of-a-fireball |
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Rated F for Fun-filled Frolic for the Family |
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Rated G for Grab-my-hand! |
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Rated H for Heads chopped off/Hearts pulled out |
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Rated I for Italian Stallion |
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Rated J for Jim Carrey |
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Rated K for Keyboard hacks Pentagon in two clicks |
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Rated L for Lead Actors involved in Real-Life Romance rendering film unwatchable |
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Rated M for Motiveless Villain |
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Rated N for Natives |
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Rated O for Overly Patriotic |
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Rated P for Pacino Yelling |
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Rated R for Remake of a Better Film |
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Rated S for Scientific Content ≠Reality |
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Rated T for T&A |
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Rated U for Un-ironic 80’s Soundtrack |
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Rated V for Vehicle |
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Rated W for Woody Allen as Romantic Lead |
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Rated X for Xenu-Sponsored Script |
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Rated Z for Zombies |
