Librarian Avengers

i everyone - Happy Halloween! I bought myself new web hosting today, so the site might be funky for a bit whilst I drag everything over. Fear not, I’m not going anywhere.

I will be in Ann Arbor until Monday to ogle the Royal Shakespeare Company.

I got a flu shot this afternoon, and I now have the fake flu. I’m going home to pass out candy and upload files. I’ll update you live from beautiful and flat state of Michigan starting tomorrow morning.

h, Gainesville. Come for the Snowy Egrets, stay for the affronts to human dignity!

Bill Mahr at The Huffington Post wrote an excellent screed last week about Levy County Florida’s county-wide drug screening policy which has cut the library’s volunteer population by 3000%.

Mahr is slightly fuzzy on the details of our favorite profession, referring to librarians interchangeably as 1) Grandma 2) Aunt Iris 3) America’s shsssshing minority and 4) Volunteers.

Still, he has a point. Why torture volunteers? Should the County’s “risk-management Insurance company” really have the power to take down the library system? Is this an acceptable risk?

I wonder if anyone considered the cost/benefit of this decision. Essentially, the County Government (whom we know are always the embodiment of common sense and long-term planning) has reduced library services in exchange for relief from imaginary hordes of crank-shooting elderly volunteers.

spent the afternoon poking around the more obscure areas of Amazon.com (It’s snowing, I’m lazy) and I came across a distributor that sells fresh groceries.

The page layout is the same as any other Amazon product, the content is just a bit…different.

I love reading what other people think about something before I buy it. The Amazon customer reviews for bananas, however, are just a bit silly.

There is some hilarious writing lodged in the crevasses of online consumer reviews. I can’t help wondering if the Internet caused these folks to burst from their creative shells, or if they might be writing actual books instead of, say, posting on their weblogs.

Just in case you were wondering, Amazon directly sells bulk drygoods groceries through their beta site Amazon Grocery. They have some good organic stuff that might be difficult to find outside of Hippieville, USA where I live.

Full disclosure: I do not work for Amazon.com. They aren’t paying me to be nice to them. But they should. Amazon: Call me!

t’s Friday. Who needs serious content? Not I.

Attention crazy dog people: If you must dress up your pet for Halloween, at least do it in style.

Attention crazy cat people: Think your cat is big? Invite him to view this gallery of top 15 amazingly fat cats. All of your cat’s body issues should clear up immediately.

Have a grand weekend! Don’t forget to put up the storm windows.

h the joy of working in a traditionally female profession around Halloween!

Take your pick, ladies and gentlemen, do you prefer your objectification in the form of Sexy Librarian, or Old Lady Librarian?

Here are the search results from yet another hunt for Librarian costumes. The first two you may familiar with, the last provides a charming alternative:

It has been pointed out in some circles (hi coworkers!) that I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to the care and feeding of library professionals. Please allow the above image, as well as the profession’s appalling wages speak on my behalf.

k, what happened? Whose fault is this? I came home to this message from my web host:

I’m honored of course, thanks ever so much…but CUT IT OUT!

got sent in as a pinch-hitter for this small local web conference for Higher Education. I’m listening to a keynote-speaker-who-shall-remain nameless reading Google’s mission statement. Which is interesting. At eight in the morning.

Ok, this is interesting. He gets 36 work-related emails per hour at Google.

The Google Book Search got a passing mention…

Hm. Google’s nice, but I like my 40-hour work week.

I could use a nap.

Did you know you can dial 46645 and do a google query on your cellphone? Could come in handy for those ambient askability moments of freerange librarainship…

Question…
Do you know anything about the Google CMS?
Answer…
Nope. Can’t answer that.

Question…
I’m really pretentious and want to insert the theme of the conference into a sentence, could you address this?
Answer…
Blah blah blah.

Great. It’s snowing.

hat have I always said? Over and over? Do the research, people. Look it up!

Well, the reason I always say this so I won’t keep making dumb mistakes. Like buying a USB cupwarmer that uses the wrong voltage.

I knew you folks in the UK have funky electricity, but I didn’t know you have a completely DIFFERENT sort of USB! How is this possible? Whose idea was this? Damn you Thomas Edison!!!

My mistake was helpfully pointed out by M-D November, who knows stuff.

M-D knows stuff because he works for the folks who make the S.A.T. test. Apparently, the trivia has worn off on him. Do not play Jeopardy! with this man. Do not invite him to your Trivial Pursuit parties.

Also, consult him on all electronic purchases. Thank you. That is all.

love ebay. Look what I got for my desk at work. You are jealous, I can tell. All this for .01 BGP. Plus shipping. Lots of shipping.

I might be able to melt small travel-sized candles on it, too. An office full of web developers starts to smell funny after awhile.

rom a New York Observer Wedding Blog article on coloring your hair before the Big Day:

I’ve been trying to perfect my hair color for over a year now. My natural color is sort of a “meh” librarian brown.

In rebuttal, I direct you to this rainbow of librarian hair I made using librarian photos from flickr. Take that, forces of visual subjugation! We are multitude! We are legion!